Slaughterhouse In The Pacific Northwest

Have you ever been to Portland, Oregon? I spent a lot of time in that city a few years ago. There’s a certain stretch of highway on the 26 that I swore had to be used for filming Friday the 13th or some other peril in the woods flick.

Well last night my fear in Portland was real, but it wasn’t the tall pacific northwest fir & sequoias that caused me to take shallow breaths, it was “A haunting in Rip City”! Every Laker fan better say a silent prayer that somehow the Lakers & Blazers don’t meet the in the Playoffs.
Ok, yeah I know that’s the punk way. Who wants an asterisk (Thanks Phil) on their championship! But let’s look at it, The Blazers have beat the Lakers the last 8 times in the Rose Garden. Keep in mind that they only play there twice a season, that extends back further than Susan Taylor’s hairline (former Essence editor, google her to see how far back that really is. LOL). And now there’s legitimate bad blood. None of the young Blazers squad were around for the bloodbath the Lakers regularly let loose on the Jailblazers (flashback)in the early part of the decade.
But after the flagrant foul Rudy Fernandez received at the hands of Trevor Ariza on March 10th, the Blazers were ready to bring the pain. They even showed the clip of it before the game in the arena (You think TA got more boos than Kobe last night?) Revenge, always a key component in slasher films. ::cues music::
When you look at the Blazers squad, they match up well with the Lakers. They’re young, athletic and long. Brandon Roy has crazy game! His jumper was so wet last night. Rudy Fernandez had a nice reverse dunk that felt like the tip of the dagger right before the killer starts to “chop and screw” its prey. Just the tip though because Kobe missing those 2 threes plus his turnover ultimately sealed their fate.
And lastly, they have their own Sasquatch. Come on. You know Greg Oden isn’t aesthetically pleasing. I’m still a female, looks ARE part of the equation.. SORRYYYYYY.
Hoping the Lakers are Jennifer Love Hewitt in my slasher flick, you know the last CHICK standing.