Let’s play guess the quote about a teammate featuring Michael Jordan & Kobe Bryant


With all the commentary that has flown around this week concerning Kobe Bryant and Smush Parker, I’ve noticed a few people saying how classless the Black mamba was going in on an ex-teammate. Others have even remarked how a true superstar and leader makes those around him better and this is just another lesson in how Kobe pales to in comparison to the great MJ.

Anyone whose followed Kobe’s career can attest to the fact that he was immature and antisocial at various points in his career. But it started me down a path of Michael Jordan as a teammate.  I think the romanticism of Jordan and the lack of internet exposure during the 80’s and 90’s has clouded the Jordan mystique. Let’s play guess the quote, MJ or Black Mamba to see who is actually the bigger a$$hole when it comes to their teammates.

“I hate being out there with those garbagemen. They don’t get you the ball.”

Jill says: Kobe on Smush? Nope that’s MJ on the Bulls scrubs… they have feelings too, no?

“…I call them ‘the Looney Tunes.’ Physically, they were the best. Mentally, they weren’t even close.”

“Why the hell don’t you ever set a pick like that in a game?”

Jill says: Never heard of Kobe being physical with any of his teammates but we’ve heard that about Jordan several times. Ask Steve Kerr. This quote was Michael yelling at Will Perdue after also hitting Perdue upside his head (led to the institution of the private curtain for practices

“I know what’s gonna happen. We’ll wait until the last minute and then they’ll say something like they couldn’t get a deal done because of the cap or somebody pulled out at the last minute. It happens here all the time. I don’t know why I’m surprised every year.”

Jill says: Kobe on the Lakers not being able to pull off the trade for Jason Kidd or Dwight Howard in the past? Nope that is His Airness…

“He can’t do anything with the ball. Don’t give it to him.”

Jill says: Kobe on Smush? On Bynum? Nope that is Jordan on Will Perdue again.

“You ever hear of a guy, six-eleven maybe and two hundred sixty pounds, a guy big and fat like that and he can’t get but two rebounds, if that many, running all over the damn court and he gets two rebounds? Big guy like that and he gets one rebound. Can’t even stick his ass into people and get more than that…Big, fat, fat guy.

Jill says: Kobe on Shaq?? Nah this is from that convo Kobe had with the two fans outside of a Starbucks a few summers ago about Bynum… BUZZ wrong again, this is Jordan on Stacy King

“I’m sure everything will be fine if we win, but if we start losing, I’m shooting.”

Jill Says: Kobe on why he shot 45 times when Chris Mihm and Kwame Brown were his options? Nope, that’s Jordan. 

“You’re an idiot. You’ve screwed up every play we ever ran. You’re too stupid to even remember the plays. We ought to get rid of you.”

Jill says: Now that HAS to be Kobe on Smush’s head right? Nope, Jordan to Horace Grant. Surely you’d place Horace ahead of Smush as far as talent, yes?

Now that you’ve gotten a taste of Jordan’s quotes about some of his teammates, let the debates fly about who the bigger a$$hole is when it comes to teammates and their production value.

Interested in checking the validity of these quotes? Of course you are. This is where I found this info, 1993’s ‘The Jordan Rules by Sam Smith (I’m so great I’ll even link you to a google version so you can check out some of the book for free) and Esobar 300 has managed to pull quite a few from the book, check this site out, there’s a bunch more!

And, let us not forget the ultimate ether, Jordan’s Basketball Hall of Fame speech.