Gabrielle Union Discusses “Hitting Rock Bottom” & Feeling Like An Outsider

Dwyane Wade’s fianceé, Gabrielle Union is featured on the cover of “Vegas Magazine.” In the article, Gabby discussed hitting rock bottom and bouncing back, how Oprah saved her, feeling like an outsider and more.

She’s always felt like an outsider
My dad told me, ‘You gotta be bigger and badder and better than the next woman, just to be considered even.’ I felt like I had to become a chameleon [in high school]. Even as a popular girl, I was always looking through the window and very afraid of being exposed. I just wanted to assimilate and fit in.

Around 2005, she felt as though she had hit rock bottom

But as Union was making her way in Hollywood, winning parts in movies such as Bring It On and Ten Things I Hate About You, her self-described “slick mouth” and penchant for “bagging on others” were earning her few friends in the business. Her outspokenness damaged her reputation, which was further compromised by a perfect Tinseltown storm. In 2005, her first marriage, to NFL star Chris Howard, began its descent into divorce; her network series Night Stalker was canceled; her agent’s phone was no longer ringing off the hook; and she felt she had hit rock bottom.] “I felt destroyed,” she says. “I literally went under the bed with my dog and just stayed there.”

She credits Oprah for saving her life

Crediting Winfrey with saving her life, Union talks openly about having been raped at age 19, when she was closing up the shoe store where she was working. She had seen a show that Winfrey had moderated on what to do if you’re the victim of a violent crime. Channeling the talk-show host’s voice, Union verbally engaged her attacker and was able to grab his gun. He ran and was later arrested and incarcerated. To this day she continues to lobby for victims of sexual violence, to advocate for rape crisis centers across the country, and to publicly give thanks to Winfrey.

She began focusing on activism after she lost her BFF to cancer. (Her best friend was 32.)

“At the end, Sook turned to me and whispered, ‘Don’t let my death be in vain. I’m passing the baton. Don’t drop it, bitch.’” Union promised her BFF that she wouldn’t and, true to her word, she became a Circle of Promise national ambassador for Susan G. Komen for the Cure, speaking up all over the world for women living with breast cancer.

She learned how to move on from heartbreak from her mother
Mention her mother, Theresa, and Union’s voice gets soft, her eyes teary. “For years I didn’t get her,” she says. “But it was my mom who got up the courage to walk away after 30 years of an unhappy marriage. She handled her divorce with dignity, and she never asked my father for a dime. As her daughter, I asked, ‘Why? You’re gonna start over?’ And she said, ‘I went from my father’s house to your father’s house. I want to get my own house.’ I learned a valuable lesson: Take the high road and move on.”

And that is exactly what Union has done.

She adapted to Dwyane Wade coming as a package deal fairly quickly

We were at the construction site in Miami where we’re building our dream home—aka the money pit,” she says. “I was wearing my Prada combat boots, no makeup, and D had a videographer recording the whole thing. I went from no kids to D getting full custody, and the next day we had a full house. So it was instant. Our lives never skipped a beat. When you’re someone who goes from never having thought about birthing her own babies to a ready-made family that has immediate needs and wants and desires, your life takes a back burner. If I were lucky enough to have one come out of my body, then great, I’d be totally open to that. But D’s kids are more than just part of the wedding. They are part of my life. They’re a package deal.”

She believes in happy

When I first came out from under the bed, my coach had me write down 10 things that made me happy. All I came up with was ground meat, imitation crab, and a cold beer. And A.J. said to me, ‘Gabby, if you don’t know what makes you happy, how can someone else know?’ So now I finally know: a warm environment with my dude. Our family. Our friends. Our dogs. I still like a cold beer. I love my girlfriends. They all came to Vegas last year for Memorial Day weekend. I think we got through one day being reasonably respectful. It was like The Hangover, Part 6. We had a ball. ‘Is that a chicken? Who brought the chicken?’ We’ve all lived so much, you get to a place where you can let someone else be the appropriate one. I want to drink Champagne out of the bottle. Everybody should dance on the table once in a while. Life is too short.

I’m finally good. Regardless of whatever happens, whatever comes and goes. I’m good.

 

I appreciate her being so open and honest. Growth is a part of the journey. Dwyane and Gabby are set to be married this summer. Speaking of DWade, check out photos of his six-month-old son Xavier.

spotted at Necole Bitchie