Kobe Bryant compares Lakers to Scooby Doo & Mr. Magoo, says they’re screwing with his zen

Things are clicking for Lob City right now. Winners of 7 straight, the Clipps have a solid starting five and bench that contains several starting line up caliber players. Meanwhile down the hall, the wheels are coming off.  I don’t know if this is proof that the Mayan calendar ending in a few days signals the end but things are certainly upside down in Laker land with Showtime 2.0 currently sitting at 9-13

Following a loss to the Cleveland Cavilers on Tuesday, not only did Mike D’Antoni snap off on TJ Simmers for a question about defense, Kobe said the losses are f**king with his zen.

“It’s extremely, extremely frustrating,” he said. “I don’t know if we’re too old and it takes us a long time to get started and lathered up. It seems like we got the Scooby-Doo syndrome where it takes you like five seconds.…”

“Last year we got beat in the playoffs by transition points and this year it’s still an Achilles’ heel for us. I don’t know if we’re too slow of a team and we got to change things up a little bit and play a slower game. I don’t know the answer.”

So, will getting Pau Gasol and Steve Nash back fix things?

“No,” Bryant said. “Those issues are still there. With Steve and Pau there in the lineup we still didn’t win a preseason game. Pau isn’t the fastest guy in the world and neither is Steve. Actually, we’re slow as hell. I’m one of the fastest guys on the team and I’m like 50.”

So how is Kobe feeling about things right now in Laker Land?

“This is the toughest stretch, the most challenging stretch in my 17 years for sure,” said Bryant while sitting calmly in front of his locker taking on all questions.

“It kind of gets like that Mr. Magoo syndrome (or Joe from Li’l Abner); the clouds just following you around all the time. To break that you have to be extremely determined to change momentum.”

Is Kobe upset?

“I’m very upset, and in the past I would blow my top and go crazy,” he said. “Then I had a head coach [Phil Jackson] who always kept calm and I learned from that. I’m trying to do the same thing here, but I won’t lie; they’re messing with my Zen stuff.”

Wait we have Zen, Scooby Doo and Mr. Magoo mentioned by Kobe all in relation to the Lakers issues… We aren’t in Kansas anymore Toto.